Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Gosh, being sick really sucks. Sucks to the max! Headaches, fever, body aches, coughing, running nose, blocked nose, nose bleeding! Omg, sucks sucks sucks to the max! The worse is waking up to find that your nose is bleeding and you have your face covered in blood and running to the toilet to wash up, carefully trying not to let the blood drip all over. Omg horrible experience! BUT it's fine now! I'm on my way to recovery! I hope.. xD
These few days made me realize how much you can actually regret something you did, something so horrible that makes you unable to stop thinking how it had changed things. I'm not gonna let it happen again, ever ever. Cause it hurts.
I don't know why but not seeing you for a day or two makes me miss you so so much. I'm beginning to wonder how am I gonna survive the 8days Germany trip.. I hope you missed me too! =) HAHAHA! Enjoy our days tmr! =)
Through the trees
I wIll find you;
I wIll heal the ruins left inside you
cuz I'm stIll here breathing now...
Monday, November 09, 2009
PW is finally over!! =D
What a relieve, finally it is over. All the ups and downs and fights in the group lolol. Anyway I'm sure everyone is very glad to be able to get rid of the pw hectic life and can finally really have a life! I just hope everyone did well and are on their way on getting an A! =D GOOD LUCK PEOPLE!
I really think I need to be in control of my thoughts as well as feelings such that I do not let them sink too much and cause alot of trouble. I should not let them run wild anyway, I feel that I'm going insane everytime they go wild and that kinda feeling really sucks to the max. I keep thinking of things are not even existence and it made her really sad, I feel like shit when that happens...
However! =D I thought about what she had said and remembered something I heard of too. "Love is not possessive" This made me realise that I really have to give her the freedom she deserves as she hangs out with her friends while I need to give my friends the attention they deserve and not neglect them! I shall try not to compare anymore and focus more on making the time we spend together more enjoyable rather than having those kinda talks and killing the mood as well as the day.
I just wanna tell you that I really love you a lot, perhaps so much that I don't know how to show it and end up showing it in a wrong way. Maybe thats why I'm always so uptight about doing something for you, and perhaps even to the point of being possessive. I'm so sorry, I will learn how to balance family, love and friendship and not wanting your full 100% attention k! I REALLY LOVE YOU LOTS! =)
Friday, November 06, 2009
Little things we overlook
Its an occasional and rare update! Just another random post(competition) that I wanna post what I feel, might be crappy, but whatever!
I feel that over the course of a few days there are things I learned that when I never look closely or think carefully, I will tend to easily overlook. I believe there are many people out there that are the same as well, overlooking the little things that are so insignificantly significant. These small things can range of a small act of unseen kindness to things people had done for you just that you did not notice, or rather overlooked.
Sometimes the little things that might not seem important to one doesn't mean it isn't important to another. Sometimes people do things for you just that you don't notice.
Will it actually hurt to stop and notice and appreciate what others had done for you?
Over these few days, the ups and downs in my life made me realize that actually I took many things for granted and did not even stop to think before jumping into that bottomless, full of shit pit called emo-ing. The things I did and said might just had proven what I said above, with the "you"s referring to myself.
I don't know what is wrong with me, when my emotions are down, my brain seems to not exist and start letting my imagination run wild, really wild. Thinking the unthinkable, feeling feelings that are non-existant. Through the course of thinking, I said things that are utterly horrible and just plain insensitive and hurt people that really matter to me. At the end when everything stops, I will start thinking to myself, how dumb, the things I thought of are the "MOST IMPOSSIBLE SCENARIOS", not just worst case. It all felt like I was drunk and running wild.
Now that I'm sober! =D I realize actually things like, my mum care for me alot thats why she is overreacting, she really loves me so I shouldn't be so stupid to think otherwise and many many stuff I overlooked while i was drunk and dumb. (omg it rhymes!) Now I know, I should really try to keep them in mind in case those stupid thoughts starts overtaking my emotions again.
I will learn to stop and notice as well as appreciate.
To the one I hurt(which i doubt will ever find this post), I'm really sorry for not thinking in your shoes before I push away whatever care you are trying to shower me with. That was totally stupid and insensitive as I know you do care for me, perhaps more than anyone in the world and yet I still react so negatively when you tell me to go sleep, tell me to reach home earlier. So sorry and I do care for you, just that times are different and I really don't know how to bring that message across to you like I did long time ago. So sorry, I will try my best to make you feel loved and valued again. This place is not just a place for me to sleep, it's where the most important people of my life are gathered.
To another one I hurt, I'm really sorry for putting words into your mouth and assuming things that are not true and solely based on my imagination. Perhaps this is what sparked off most of our issues as when my imagination take over, I will totally neglect all the things we talked about and realizations I achieved and let my emo-ness run me. I do know you love me a lot a lot and I really do believe that you will keep your promise that you will never leave me. I will always keep in mind what you said about my imaginary scenario, "So what? Nothing changes." Hopefully I will stop feeling whatever I felt since it's not possible so why worry? Sorry for prying so much into your privacy and not leaving a thought of how you would feel, I will try and refrain myself from doing that and let you have the space you deserve. I really do believe that every problem that we overcome would make us stronger than before, just like they always say, "What doesn't kill you would only make you stronger." =D I love you and I will really try to stop k! Thanks for the little things and big things you done for me! Hope we stay strong! =)
It is not only the big things in life that are important, the little ones are important too, cause, Its the little things that makes us smile.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Everytime I hug you, I wish I could never let go
Monday, February 23, 2009
I hate the feeling of watching people close to you suffer and you can't do anything about it.
It sucks.
Friday, November 14, 2008
IT IS OVER!!!
HAH! TIME TO ROCK!!!
SCREW Os!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Happy national day!!
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY EVERYONE!! =D
Yes i'm finally updating my blog again! Alot have happened again, so i'll not waste time talking about them so i'll just post those recent events!
Oh yea, I got the Edward Becheras Arts award! Haha, it was like the first time i ever went on stage to get prize! And thank you everyone from 4-2 who stood up! XD The national day celebration for our school was ok esp. Elgyn! Lol! Damn gay!
My english oral is coming up soon, on wed! Omg, today had a remedial like lesson with paul ng and Mx and a few others. It was quite fruitful as I know where to start from the picture discussion! Oh and then when we went for lunch... Mx went toilet and took super long. I was thinking did he drop in the toilet bowl or what but when he came back... HIS PHONE DROPPED INTO THE TOILET BOWL!! OMG HAHAHA!!!! I got a new phone W780 but he lost his phone! Hahaha!
These few days i noticed there are people that are sad, angry and emo. However, I wanna tell those people: Hey people! Cheer up! Smile and face your problems, dont worry as there is always a friend there for you! (Me or some other friends) =D